It's only a microwave

April 12
         "Thank you for calling American Home Shield.  Para espanol marque nueve ahora.  If you want to hear an introduction, say introduction.  Otherwise stay on the line for our menu.  If something in your home isn't working, say service request."
         "Service request"
"What is the item that is broken?"
          "Microwave."
          "Please hold while we connect you with a service representative."

           "This is Imran.  Can I have your contract number?" (note the accent)
           "918774532"
            "And to whom am I speaking?"
            "Kathryn Cox."
            "Can you verify your home address, Mrs. Cox?"
             917 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas, 77586."
            "And what can I do for you today, Mrs. Cox?"
            "Our microwave is making very strange noises and won't turn on."
            "I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Cox.  What is the brand and model of the microwave?"
             "Sharp and I don't know the model number.  It is built in.  I think it is about 8 or 9 years old."
             "I see.  Can you please hold while I see when a technician is available to come out?
                        (long pause)   A technician is available Monday between 8 and 12.  He will call prior     to his visit.  Will someone be home? "
              "Yes, thank you."

April 16
         Call from Sears repair service on contract to American Home Shield.
         "Our technician has been delayed and will be at your home between 8 and 12 on Thursday, April 19."

April 19
         Technician calls.  He is on his way.  Technician arrives, takes one look at the microwave, takes off interior shield which is fried and gets on his computer and phone.  "I will have to order the part and I can show you how to put it on when it arrives."
       "Great, that is easy enough.  Thank you and when should the part arrive?"
        "Within 3 to 5 days."
 He climbs in his Sears truck and leaves.

April 23
          Box on doorstep with new part.  But alas, this shield is less than half the size of the original.
          Call to American Home Shield.
           "Thank you for calling American Home Shield. Para espanol marque nueve ahora. If you want to hear an introduction, say introduction. Otherwise stay on the line for our menu. If something in your home isn't working, say service request."
      "Service request"
      "What is the item that is broken?"
      "Microwave."
       "Please hold while we connect you with a service representative."
      
       "Please remain on the line.  Our representative will be with you shortly."

        "This is David.  May I have your contract number?" (note the accent)
        "918774532"
        "And to whom am I speaking?"
        "Kathryn Cox."
        "Can you verify your address for me, Mrs. Cox?"
        "917 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas 77586"
        "And what can I do for you today, Mrs. Cox?"
        "A part arrived and it is way too small...less than half the size of the original."
        "I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Cox. What is the brand and model of the microwave?"
        "Sharp and I don't know the model number."
       "Can you hold while I look up your request?  (Long pause)  I have contacted Sears and they will send another technician out to take a look."
         "Thank you."
 
 Phone call from Sears:
      "We have scheduled a technician to arrive at your home between 8 and 12 on Saturday, April  28."

April 28
         Technician Robert arrives and looks at the part.
         "This ain't gonna work.  It is way too small."  (DUH!)
          Robert declines coffee and gets on his computer and on the phone with Sears parts research department.
          "Mrs. Cox, this ain't even the part that was ordered.  I've ordered you another part and it should be here within 3 to 5 days.  Please call when the part arrives.  It should be fine."
          "Thank you, Robert" and I watch him climb in his Sears truck and drive away.

May 3
         Box on doorstep.  New part, this time in a bigger box.  The part is in a box in a plastic bag, in another plastic bag and under lots of bubble wrap.  I'm hopeful.  Alas, this one is bigger than the last one but half the size of the orginal.  I am SO frustrated and begin again.
     "Thank you for calling American Home Shield. Para espanol marque nueve ahora. If you want to hear an introduction, say introduction. Otherwise stay on the line for our menu. If something in your home isn't working, say service request."
"Service request"
"What is the item that is broken?"
"Microwave."
"Please hold while we connect you with a service representative."

"This is Gloria. Can I have your contract number?"
"918774532"
"And to whom am I speaking?"
"Kathryn Cox."
 "Can you verify your address for me, Mrs. Cox?"
  "917 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas, 77586."
"And what can I do for you today, Mrs. Cox?"
"Another part arrived that is the wrong size."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Cox. What is the brand and model of the microwave?"
"Sharp and I don't know the model number. It is built in. I think it is about 8 or 9 years old.  This has been going on since April 12 and I'm getting very frustrated.  So far we have two wrong parts and two technicians.  You could buy a new microwave for what you are spending on parts and labor."
"I am sorry for your inconvenience, Mrs. Cox. "

May 4
         Answering machine:  "This is Sears, please give us a call."
         "This is Kathryn Cox.  I'm returning your call regarding service to my microwave."
          "May I have your home phone number, Mrs. Cox?"
           "487 773-6945"
           "And your address, Mrs. Cox?"
          "419 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas, 77586"
           "And what is this about?"
   By now I'm beginning to lose it...."My microwave" and then proceed to recite the saga of visits and parts. 
         "Just a moment please while I transfer you to the research department."
              (long pause...10 minutes roll by)
         "This is Denise.  How may I help you?"
          "This is Kathryn Cox.."
          "May I have your home phone number, Mrs. Cox?"
          "487 773-6945"
           "And your address, Mrs. Cox?"
          "419 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas, 77586"
           "And what is this about?"
          I explain the whole history again along with my frustration and my voice is getting louder and louder and higher and higher.  My daughter steps in and says "Mom, it's not her fault."
           "I'm sorry.  It's just we've been dealing with this since April 12 and getting no where."
           "Let me see what I can do and get back with you."
           "When will I hear from you?"
             "Within 24 hours."

May 7
           Phone call to American Home Shield:

           "Thank you for calling American Home Shield. Para espanol marque nueve ahora. If you want to hear an introduction, say introduction. Otherwise stay on the line for our menu. If something in your home isn't working, say service request."
"Service request"
"What is the item that is broken?"
"Microwave."
"Please hold while we connect you with a service representative."

"This is Susan. Can I have your contract number?"
"918774532"
"And to whom am I speaking?"
"Kathryn Cox."
"And would you verify your address for me?"
"419 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas 77586"
"And what can I do for you today, Mrs. Cox?"
I relay once again the history of the service request.
"Another part arrived that is again the wrong size."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Cox.  Let me set up a conference call with Sears."
      (another pause)
Sears is on the line and I listen and the rep goes through the record they have of the technician and the visits and the parts.  Susan thanks Sears and hangs up.
      "Mrs. Cox, this sounds like we are going in circles.  Let me put our research department on it and see what we can come up with."
       "Thank you and when can I expect to hear back?"
       "Within 24 hours."
      "And if I don't?"
      "Call us back."
      "What do I do with these parts that don't fit?"
       "Seal them up and I will call UPS to pick them up.  Thank you for using American Home Shield."

May 14

     Message to call Sears which I do but give up part way through the menu when no one seems to know why I am to call them.
    
May 15
      A message on the answering machine from a very tired sounding Sears rep. 
           "Please call Sears at 1-800-776-4663."
   
     "This is Kathryn Cox. I'm returning your call regarding service to my microwave."
       "May I have your home phone number, Mrs. Cox?"
        "487 773-6945"
        "And your address, Mrs. Cox?"
        "419 Broadway, Seabrook, Texas, 77586"
         "And what is this about?"
         "My microwave...the wrong part was sent again."
           "Can you hold for a moment while I check the record?"
          "Do I have a choice?"
          "Mrs. Cox, I need to transfer you to the research department.  Please hold."
         "Please stay on the line.  A representative will be with you shortly."
               (long pause)
           "Hello, Mrs. Cox.  What can I do for you?"
    I tell the story again while gritting my teeth and refraining from screaming into the phone.
             "We are in the process of checking into another supplier.  Thank you for your patience.  You should hear from us in 24 hours"

May 16
        A message late in the day from a very tired Denise saying that they have ordered another part and to call when it arrives within 3 to 5 days. 

May 21
        No UPS.  No part as yet.  By now  I can see the humor in all this ...the absolute absurdity of bureaucratic systems.
       I really don't want a new microwave as it will mean making the cabinet fit all over again so wish me luck.  Crazy world we live in!
       I have to say that in the 40 plus years we have used American Home Shield Insurance on all our appliances this is the first time I have had a problem.  They have replaced the stove, the dishwasher, the washing machine, the garage door opener and saved us thousands on plumbing and air conditioning problems.  But I can't say the same for Sears repair service with whom they contract.  Sheesh!